"The crisis is the turning point", says a Chinese proverb. And this was a very important word of encouragement given to me by a friend from the other side of the world, Taiwan.

It only needs time, I would add.

Sunshine has a healing power, and we have had so far a lot of sunshine lately. I try to store those warming rays in my memory and body, so that I can reach back to them later when I will be up in Scotland again.

Not yet though, and 'till then I try to live the present according to my abilities.

I finished reading a new book from Paulo Coelho: The Handbook of the Warrior of Light. Inspiring.

I try to sleep as much as I can.

I collected 5 bags of rubbish from all my drawers in my room. Very interesting selection.

I watch the small family of pigeons who built a nest in our window. I watched as they came out of the eggs, and then as they learned to fly. The parents are incredibly caring. They all keep coming back because we give them to eat.

The best time to watch this local "life of birds" (even Sir Attenborough would be pleased) is about 19.30 in the evening. The street is quiet by that time, and the only noise is made by the various birds. Apart from the pigeons we have some swallows as well, they live above our kitchen window.

And then, I start slowly preparing for my next life-phase. I have to select what I will bring with myself, clothes, books, and memories. I know I have to go, but it is hard.

To continue my last thought, the place of the unknown has welcomed me at home with a new "surprise", and once again I must learn that having plans, no, even having hopes doesn't mean to be able to turn them to reality.
How does one feel when heartbroken? How does one feel after having reached the place where she's willing to give herself up for the sake of the other and then she's made to realize all this was futile? How does one feel after a year of hopes and struggles about love?
How do I feel and what do I think?
I start to see the world through different eyes.
Because this time the sharp bitterness did not come. Nor the acidlike self-reproach. Not even self-pity.
I know I had done everything I could.
And I know that he had not.
I've gained a new opportunity to move on. Forward.

The unexpected turns of life continue. The city of Edinburgh has got a hold on me, I alredy wrote about this. It seems that the next chapter's scene (from June) will be there. It's really funny.
I start to be curious why I still need to return there...?
I want to be open to learn new things.
In the meantime, home, sweet home.